And I am jealous
of your tattoos and how long
they will stay with you
after I go.
— Clementine von Radics (via n9neblindmice)
When I don’t answer a message you sent me
- I am physically unable to answer (at school, actually working at work, or had real life obligations)
- I thought I hit send but I really didn’t
- Tumblr is stupid and did not notify me, I actually had no clue you messaged me
- I assumed you wanted the conversation to end at that so I did not reply so you would not get pissed off
What did not happen:
- I ignored you
Women are socialized to make men feel good. We’re socialized to “let you down easy.” We’re not socialized to say a clear and direct “no.” We’re socialized to speak in hints and boost egos and let people save face. People who don’t respect the social contract (rapists, predators, assholes, pickup artists) are good at taking advantage of this. “No” is something we have to learn. “No” is something we have to earn. In fact, I’d argue that the ability to just say “no” to something, without further comment, apology, explanation, guilt, or thinking about it is one of the great rites of passage in growing up, and when you start saying it and saying it regularly the world often pushes back. And calls you names.
my dad basically says your early 20’s are when you’re too young for anyone to take you seriously and you’re too old for anyone to feel sorry for you and he is 100% right